No. 7 — A Blurry Wish List, Chasing It Through the Secondhand Market

Lying in bed, I turn the volume up two notches.

That song. I’ve always wanted to play it on guitar.
I don’t remember exactly when it started.
Probably somewhere in my mid-twenties, hearing it for the first time and getting hooked.

There was a stretch when that melody really got to me.
Not so much anymore.
The song and I don’t feel much for each other these days.

Still, I want a guitar.
That part hasn’t changed.

I don’t need to play the whole thing start to finish.
Just a few bars.
Just one moment that sounds close to what’s in that video, coming off my own fingers.

I’ve heard the fingers are what matter.
How you shape a chord, the angle and force of your strum.

Probably true. But I’m no craftsman.
So I get to blame the tools instead.
A good guitar, and somehow it’ll work out.
No real reason to think that. Just a feeling I like holding onto.

I think back — was this ever on a wish list?
Maybe. I’ve added it and crossed it out so many times I’ve lost track of whether it was ever really there.
Like the song, maybe I’ve gone a little numb to this too.

While I’m thinking about it, my hand has already opened the secondhand market app.

The listings pile up.
”Must sell fast."
"Selling cheap."
"This guitar could slap Martin across the face."
"No way this should be priced this low.”

To whoever’s selling out there, I type one line. “Looking for someone selling a good guitar. Cheap. The cheaper the better.”